Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Good Ground

There are times when I feel I'm brittle, dry, barren.

I wonder if the life I know was predestined will spring up from me.

Am I beyond reparation?

This soil of mine…cracked, thirsting for more…

Will it ever reveal new life?

It becomes a bit cumbersome for a bud with little hope

To wonder if it'll ever come into full bloom.

Seeds have been sown.

Weeds are being pulled.

Thorns are gradually being snipped away.

Intermittent sunshine and rain.

Just when there seemed to be no hope in this arid land

God breaks open the heavens, and pours out His blessings.

He is not withholding his greatness from His people.

Somebody prayed.

And I am reminded of a word whispered to me before one Sunday service…

"You are good ground."

While damp, muddy, and a bit messy…good ground, indeed.



If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave,and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to prayer offered in this place. For I have chosen and sanctified (set apart for holy use) this house, that My Name may be here forever, and My eyes and My heart will be here perpetually.
2 Chronicles 7:14-16 (AMP)

But He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you [sufficient against any danger and enables you to bear the trouble manfully]; for Mystrength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in [your] weakness. Therefore, I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ (the Messiah) may rest (yes, may pitch a tent over and dwell) upon me!
2 Corinthians 12:9

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Glass Houses and a Sledgehammer

There's an overwhelming heaviness of heart I carry.

It is at times fleeting, and then I'm okay. Other times, it bores through me like a piercing gaze…not akin to that of a lover.

I feel I'm sitting in an empty glass house with no stones and a sledgehammer too heavy for me to swing and set myself free.

I'm left with my thoughts. I'm left with my own words, weaponized to be unkind to myself. And this heavy, heavy hammer.

It is far more than I can stand to lift. It is old. It is rugged. It is splintery and rusted. And while quite difficult and painful to manage, it is the only thing that will get me out of this place.

I try, many a time, to no avail to lift this aid of liberation. I grow weary. I cry. I fail. So I sit, with this hammer lightly grasped wondering how I will ever manage to get out of here. For I am too weak. I am not strong enough to do this in my own might…

If I were to escape, what about the shards of glass? What about the pain of actually climbing out? What about what lies on the other side of these walls? Can I handle it?

My thoughts…

My questions…

My doubts…

I am left with them and this heavy, heavy hammer--the only thing that can set me free.

Where do I find strength to use the only tool given me?

The tool…

I strengthen myself by carrying this tool. I bear its heaviness. I endure the splinters. I embrace the callouses. And with this comes renewal of the mind…a mental and spiritual Bearing, Endurance and Embrace like no other. I build the valor necessary to heave this tool as I will.

And break free…

Glass at my feet, limbs a bit scarred, hammer in hand, walking to the next glass house.

-m

And let us rejoice and exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God.
Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.
And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.

Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Romans 5:2-5 (AMP) 

Monday, April 14, 2014

¡Feliz cumpleaƱos a mi! :)

"Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement." -C.S. Lewis

Long time, no type! Well, I failed my driver's road test again; that was a WHILE back. It's all good. It's all God. I didn't have peace for a while with this situation. I'm finally getting to a place of contentment with my transportation and other things. The time is coming soon… Still ain't excited 'bout these insurance premiums, though!

Moving on…I celebrated a birthday this past Saturday, April 12th. I've lived to see the ripe old age of 24. Hahahahaaa!!! 24 is good though. I feel it will be a good year for me. I think I was kind of over 23. I'm excited about what my future holds. God has brought me through a wealth of trials and triumph in my short time here on earth thus far, and I trust that He will do even greater things in the coming years. He is faithful.

I took some time off Thursday and Friday before my birthday! Wednesday was a great start to my vacation! My sweet auntie (I affectionately call her 'Nannie') sent me lilies! They're still blossoming brilliantly! :) I enjoyed doing absolutely nothing productive on Thursday and Friday, I had a massage, brunch and my bestest friend came into town!



We went to Denny's for my free Grand Slam and then went shopping! I was treated to two dresses of my choice (courtesy of my hitta, Shawa!) and wore one to my 'surprise' party (Uncle Rob spilled the beans! Lol!) Check it out!


I wish I got a picture while standing! I'm telling you, I was slayin' 'em! #YAASSS! I'm sure someone snapped one. I'll have to recover photos from other people. Anywho, before the party, some friends and I went to Trudy's here in Austin, TX and I got my free Mexican Martini. SO. GOOD. My favorite (the link, the LS, D-Neezy) got me a wine rack and bottle(s) yes, BOTTLESSS to fill it with along with cheese and crackers from World Market. Anyone who knows the fancy foodie in me knows this gave me LIIIFFFEEEE! So grateful to my friends for not just their gifts, but their presence. Needless to say, I went home and took a nap thereafter. The food and martini had a sister feelin' full and lovely! Lol! The party was after that! You can see pictures and vids of us jammin' out together HERE!

We HAD to hit downtown after the party! Had so much fun! Got myself a free birthday cocktail. Yesss…ALL THE FREEBIES! Annnd, I ended up running into Tyson Beckford. #NoBiggie. He was super chill and very much as attractive in person as he is in magazine spreads.



I had a friggin' blast and am so grateful for life, a new year and the people God has given me to celebrate with. My heart is full, and I'm am overwhelmed with joy for all the love poured out on me for my birthday. My family, friends, brothers and sisters from other mothers and misters are all the best! God has truly smiled on me! Hopefully I'll have more pictures to come later. Till then…


xoxo,

-m